This is more of a people question than a dog question, but how do you politely ask someone not to bother your dog? My GSD isn't reactive or aggressive at all, but he doesn't particularly like meeting new people and isn't 100% relaxed and comfortable when strangers reach toward him. He's been extensively socialized and will tolerate it, but you can tell that he's just not happy about it. He's standoffish, that's the best word I can think of, and I'm okay with that.
I'm more interested in keeping him happy and relaxed so that he can enjoy our walks than I am in making him interact with random people, so I try to head off people who want to pet him while we're out walking, but some people have gotten weirded out or almost offended when I ask them not to touch him. The first thing they ask is, "Does he bite?" Well, no, but you make him uncomfortable, so....
Would you politely try to explain that he just isn't a social butterfly and that's just his individual personality, or just cut it short with something like, "He's not friendly."? I don't want to perpetuate any of the silly stereotypes about GSDs being attack dogs or any other nonsense, so I'm hesitant to say anything that portrays the breed in a negative way, y'know?
I used to feel bad about telling people not to pet my dog, until a neighbor leaned over to pet her even after I repeatedly said "Please don't do that," and got nipped on the hand. That accident scared me a little, so now I'm a lot more forward about keeping the dogs away from people.
I feel like most people should be respectful of dogs and ask owners first, but for those rude ones who don't, it's perfectly fine to very curtly say "She's in the middle of training, please do not pet her" or make a similar excuse.
I think it's just right that before anyone tries to pet your dog, they should ask first for your permission. And once you decline, then they shouldn't have any questions or negotiations about it. After all, you know him best and know what's right for him. But for the people who go right ahead and pet him without even asking, here are my suggestions:
- Be frank about your dog's personality. Tell them that petting him makes him feel uncomfortable.
- If they probe you further, just tell them that he isn't too keen on meeting new people yet.
- If you're worried about them stereotyping GSDs, don't worry about it. Dog lovers and GSD lovers will adopt GSDs despite stereotypes because they know the truth anyway.
- Maybe try a new location for your walks. Somewhere that isn't too populated.
- Don't be too social with others so they won't be too social with your dog as well.
I hope this helps!
Thanks for the responses, they do help. I don't know why I feel almost guilty saying no when someone wants to do something that exceeds Zero's comfort level. It doesn't help that some dog people are of the opinion that every dog should be okay with everyone in every circumstance.
It doesn't help that some dog people are of the opinion that every dog should be okay with everyone in every circumstance.
I think if someone is a real "dog person", they would realize that every dog is different. There are a huge number of previously abused dogs adopted out of shelters that are not ok with strangers or surprise touching. I feel like people who don't understand that are the insensitive and rude ones, not you for asking people not to touch your dog.
If someone were to start guilting you about not letting you pet their dog, just turn it on them and make them feel guilty for prying: "He's had a very difficult past and he doesn't like strangers touching him."
I would be careful of what I say if this situation arise, because with just one wrong word, they will labeled your dog "aggressive", especially with my dog, he is half Pit Bull, and the false accusation of certain breeds get people to believe in it.
My dog decides for himself if he wants to be pet or not. Certain people he doesn't mind, but my neighbor he minds very much. If he senses someone is bad, his fur will raise up.
I think it is always good to ask first, and you might just have to come out and say "he is not comfortable with stranger"!
Well, a proper polite person would just admire a dog from a good distance, wave or talk to it at first, and wait for the owner's invitation to pet the dog or ask permission first. If anyone pets the dog immediately, it is in your right to just politely decline and explain to the person your dog's condition. You can even tell them to ask permission first.
My dog is very aggressive. I don't even need to discourage anyone to pet my dog because he decides the one who pets or don't pet him.
I actually like it that way because it makes him look mean all the time especially when he's not in the company of people he's familiar with.
When I was growing up, I was always told never to pet another person's dog unless they said I could and this was for many reasons such as you never know if the dog may be being trained and you petting them may distract them or you never know if the dog could be nervous about strangers and could bite out of fear so it was to protect myself.
If you really do not want your dog petted for any reason then you have every right to ask someone politely not to do so and listen to your reason. After all, it is your dog and you know best. People need to understand that it is done out of care for their dog and the person wanting to pet their dog and not to be nasty. Never be afraid to do what is right for yourself and your dog.
If your dog is aggressive, it's best you tell them point blank that petting isn't allowed to avoid having someone bitten by your dog.