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Dog Jokes

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by swalia, May 17, 2016.

  1. swalia

    swalia Member

    No offence dog lovers...just for laughs!!!
    I read this joke in Reader's digest and found it hilarious:

    I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?”

    My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.”
  2. Rolo

    Rolo New Member

    I don't know why but when I saw this post I immediately thought of the joke that was used in the Monty Python "funniest joke in the world" sketch - the one where the joke was so funny that people were dying from laughter and so it was used in the war to defeat the enemy! At the time of the sketch, only people who could understand German knew what the joke actually was but what it actually translates to is:

    "My dog's got no nose!"
    "Really? How does he smell?"
  3. Arvis

    Arvis New Member

    Hilarious! This topic needs more jokes, so here's my addition (I think this most accurately describes a dog, I just love this one):
  4. swalia

    swalia Member

    The official dogs’ song?
    “Every snack you take, every food you make, every can you shake, every seal you break, I’ll be watching you….
  5. swalia

    swalia Member

    Dogs are the best alarm clocks.

    When they want out, there’s no snooze button that could tame that.
  6. swalia

    swalia Member

    A burglar is stalking stealthily around the living room of the house he's just broken into. He jumps with fright when he suddenly hears a voice behind him saying "Croaoak, beware, Jesus watches you"

    He turns around, swings the beam of his flashlight in to direction the voice comes from and sees what indeed the voice had made him think once he was over his first fright: a parrot. The bird repeats "Croaoak, beware, Jesus watches you"

    The burglar walks up to the cage and asks "And what may your name be? The parrot answers "Coco." The burglar sniggers and says "I've always found that a very stupid name for a parrot." The parrot answers "Maybe, but not half as silly as Jesus for a Pitbull terrier"
  7. swalia

    swalia Member

    Q: What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog sleeping on your bed?

    A: Quietly go sleep on the sofa.
  8. swalia

    swalia Member

    Q: Would you rather have a 250 pound dog chase you or a lion?

    A: Um… I’d rather he chased the lion.

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